Why ???

I guess life has its way of dealing its cards ...

Every individual has a story to tell ...

We all got our own demons to fight ...

And the sad thing is, for most of the time, we've got to battle it out on our own. Sure ... everyone would like to win, some will say they simply can't afford to lose. Just how far are you willing to go for what you believe in. How heavy are the consequences. If I were to take a step back and look at it from a different point of view ... would I ask myself 'Is this worth it???' If I keep marching on blindly, will I eventually forget my destination.

I DO NOT need you to tell me what to do ... so please don't.

I DO NOT need you to tell me where to go ... so please don't.

I DO NOT know what I want anymore ... so just let me be.

Is it true that we do not choose our destiny???

Is it true that our destiny chooses us???

So many questions ... and no answers in sight. I hate being lost but I'm running in confused circles. I miss simplicity.

Dwelling in the past, living in the moment and anticipating the future is just so tiring. The pressure to live up to expectations ... my own expectations ... are suffocating me. Doing the right thing may not always be easy. I just did and I feel shitty. :(

Are you going to tell me to take it one step at a time? Are you going to tell me to live for today? Are you going to pat my back and tell me to take things easy? Are you going to tell me to take a chill pill? If you are ... then FUCK YOU!!! And you know why ... because these issues will still be there when I wake up tomorrow. It would not miraculously dissappear.

Some of you may understand what I'm talking about here ... some may even be able to relate. Others will just end up reading and conclude that all these are nothing more than a load of crap. It's ok. I'm not expecting anything in return. I need to bitch it out! Am not sure where all these angst is coming from. Sometimes you just feel what you feel I guess.

If I were a book ... I wonder what my title would be. I wonder what my chapters would reveal. I wonder what my story would tell.

I wonder if I myself would ever know ...

The song above is one of my all time favourite. Dim the lights and close your eyes. Listen to the words ... it's so empowering. Love will keep us alive ... I truly wish that it's true. It's my only hope.