The Twilight Saga : Eclipse ... FAIL!!!

I am by no means a 'Twihard' ... you won't catch me dead proclaiming my allegiance for either Team Edward or Team Jacob. Ever since I got hooked on to Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake vampire series, I became a fan of all things related to vampires, werewolves and just about any other creatures of the night. So when the Twilight franchise came about, I went along and caught Twilight, New Moon and recently, Eclipse when it hit the theaters.


I won't bother with the synopsis as a quick online pop to imdb.com would to that nicely for ya. What I wanna do instead is to RANT about how ridiculous the movie was.


Firstly, Bella (Kirsten Stewart) is a total biatch for thinking that she can possibly love two guys at the same time. Okay, so they aren't technically your regular dudes ... one's Edward (Robert Pattinson), a pale blood sucking vamp and the other fella's Jacob (Taylor Lautner), a huge furry werewolf but that's besides the point. The freakin' point is that you don't go asking wolf boy to kiss you after accepting fang boy's marriage proposal. What?! ... the diamond studded ring was just too hard to say 'No' to?!!! Doing this makes you no-more-and-no-less ... a SLUT!


I luvvvvvv the 100 carat ring you gave me Edward ... coz I'm that shallow ya

And have I mentioned Kirsten's performance throughout the entire movie as an angst filled bimbo was utterly horrible. She's the Hollywood equivalent of Jay Chou and honestly, I reckon I'd be better entertained if I watched paint dry on a wall.


I luvvvvvv your ripping biceps and washboard 6-packs Jacob ... coz I'm really that shallow le

The best part is yet to come ... despite knowing her for who she is ... guess what?! ... both guys still wants her bad. They bared their broken hearts and still insist on throwing away their lives for her ... all in the name of ... love. *pfftttt*


So where shall we go for our menage a trois???

Vamp boy was his usual emo self throughout the entire show and wolf boy was eternally tempremental. All three should do the world a favour and just jump off a building or something ... but wait, both vamp and wolf would survive since they're supernatural beings and it's kinda hard to die that way which would in turn leave only Bella's brain splattered all over the tarmac. Hmmm ... not a bad ending no? At least it'll solve the love triangle issues :p

I would suggest you watch this ONLY and ONLY IF you're a Twihard. Don't say you haven't been warned!