The Spy Next Door ... Don't Bother!!!

Jackie Chan ... a household name synonymous with high action comedy all over Asia and in recent years ... Hollywood too. His transition from Asian cinema to Tinsletown's silver screen started off with a bang! Rush Hour was brilliant, Shanghai Noon it what you would typically expect of Jackie, so it was a watchable. I don't know what happeneded after that but whatever formula that used to work for Jackie certainly isn't working well now.

It was excruciating to watch one of Chinese's biggest entertainment star strutting his stuff pathetically like the way he did in The Spy Next Door. Jackie ... so famous for performing his own stunts is now doing child-like feat while exploiting the use of 'very obvious' wires ensuring laughable results ... and I don't mean it in a jovial funny way. Perhaps he should've quitted action movies while he was still at a high. Looks like the aging process doesn't elude anyone ... not even movie stars eh :p


Playing a secret Chinese agent loaned to the CIA, Bob Ho intended to retire from secret service to settle down and marry his girlfriend, Gillian (Amber Valetta). Trouble was ... hitching with Gillian means carrying excess baggage since Gillian has 3 kids of her own and they aren't exactly thrilled to call Bob their new daddy *like DUH!*


So as usual, the Russians are the baddies who managed to create a chemical capable of eating up any material petroleum based. So they intend to vaporize all the petroleum resources in the world except for Russia's of course. How original! *blehhh* Bob's life gets flip flopped as he tries to stop the baddies and at the same time babysit the kids while Gilian went off state to tend to her sick mother.


The plot couldn't be any more predictable and it seems Jackie's extra hours at his English classes didn't pay off either. Special effects are best ignored and fight choreography (if you're willing to call it fight scenes to begin with) was weak. George Lopez and Billy Ray Cyrus both put in forgettable performances as CIA agents, so can't be bothered to say anything more about em'.

I take comfort that I caught this disasterous movie on DVD instead of the theaters. Looks like Jackie has gotta do a lot more to convince this blogger to ever pay for a cinema ticket for any one of his upcoming movies.