Musang Pandan

For the past week, there had been this annoying rustling sound coming from my home's ceiling. It get's louder especially during night time and hence, my family and myself often had trouble getting a good night's sleep. So one day, my dad climbed up to the ceiling anticipating to see either some rats, stray cats or perhaps the mischieveous squirell that had been rummaging through my trash on a daily basis. He shone the flash lights around and in the darkness, reflected two pairs of glowing eyes. They don't seem like any of the above animals. It looked to be larger than a cat and with a really long tail too. My dad could tell that one pair of eye belonged to the mother and the other, the baby.

So we called the local fire department and they came this morning. They told us that recently, they've been catching quite a number of foxes in my housing area and the description my dad gave them fitted the picture perfectly. So there they were, eight firemen, armed with two sticks in my house to 'arrest' the intruder. Kinda cool to have a firetruck parked in front of my house though. Attracted a couple of nosy neighbours and all. Hehe. Anyways, we had to use our personal ladder since their's was too long. And we also used our li'll mouse trap cause they didn't have any traps of their own. Hmmm ... Malaysia Boleh??? :p

So three of em' climbed up to the ceiling and told us that they couldn't locate the mother fox. The baby was there and with thick gloves, they managed to wrestle it into the mouse trap. When they brought it down, I could see that although still a youngling, this is one feisty baby fox. Apparently the locals call it Musang Pandan simply because when it reaches adulthood, this species will smell just like pandan leaves ... awesome huh. Oh and this kinda fox is harmless, they are herbivour and their main diet consist of tropical fruits. I was told papayas are their favourite. Anyways, it looked adorable and I overheard one of the firemen wanting to keep it as a pet. It's also an endangered species, so a permit is needed.

Felt a li'll pity for the mother fox cause when she returns, her baby won't be there anymore. But if she continues to make a ruckus up there, I'll have no qualms calling the fire dept. again.

Too Soon?

Had a dream last night. I was to hit the gym to teach my first Body Combat class after my surgery but when I reached there, the gym had a blackout ... no electricity. Ahaks ... perhaps my dream is telling me something here. :p

Oh ... and to my fellow instructors, enjoy the quarterlies k. Really wish I could be there. Haih.

Rain rain go away.

The pain in my right arm was pretty intense last night. So much so that it woke me up from sleep. A quick check on my trusted Sony radio clock revealed that it's exactly 3am. It's pouring really heavily outside. I drew my rooms' curtains apart and just sat by the sofa ... staring at the rain as each tiny drop crashes down from the heavens above. After a while, it became almost hypnotic. At least it took my mind away from the pain. I peered outside and saw a stray cat taking shelter at my neighbour's balcony. It's busy licking itself dry, oblivious that I was studying its action beneath the cover of darkness. At that moment, with the raindrops tapping against my window and the stray doing what it's doing ... I felt empty. No reason why. Sigh.

A Proud Moment

This is the first time I'm being featured in a publication of any kind. :D In the True Fitness's February 08 GX Schedule booklet, I was give an oppurtunity to write up a GX Testimonial. It's nothing much but it still meant something to me. Many thanks Su Yee and Alex C.

What is LOVE to you???

I happen to come across a Valentine ad in a magazine I was reading today and in bolded caption was 'What is love to you?'. Well, IMHO, I think (in no particular order) ...

Love is a double edged sword where it can grant you all the happiness under the sun and still hurt you in ways you'd never imagined.

Love is the one thing that can put a smile on one's face even on the stormiest of days.

Love means sacrificing all for you.

Love means never having to say sorry or thank you.

Love means looking into your lover's eyes and understand each other without having to say a single word.

Love means exchanging sweet nothings into each other's ears without cringing.

Love is something a lot of us take for granted.

Love is something God blessed us with. It helps make living beautiful.

Love means spending unnecessarily (and wouldn't mind doing so) on Valentine's day.

Love means gentle kisses and sweet hugs.

Love means TRUST.

Love means for better or worse.

Love means beauty, financial status, the 5Cs are all out of the window.

Love means I'll always be there for you.

Love means I'll share your joys and sorrows.

Love is the one thing that can easily crush the strongest of men.

Love can't be found. It'll find you (mostly when you least expect it).

Love is a big part for a person to lead a rich and fullfilling life.

Love truly makes a person blind ... doing silly li'll things you wouldn't usually do.

Love means floating amongst the colourful butterflies and the happy chirpy birds.

Love means being responsible for your partner's emotional well being.

Love means more-than-willing compromise.

Love means you risk losing something you cherish so much.

Love is something that cannot be bought.

Love can cause you to grin like a silly school girl for no apparent reason.

Love may sometimes mean not calling you mine. Sometimes we have to let go. :(

Love is never predictable.

Love means not being selfish.

Love means looking deep into your eyes and I see a future ... our future.

Love means placing you before everything else.

Love means you have the ability to hurt me way beyond what others are capable of.

Love is so fragile.

Love means enjoying the beautiful sunset, hand in hand together.

Love means sharing our favourite song.

Love is complicated sometimes.

Love means withstanding the full brunt of your PMS attack. (Ear plugs might help here)

Love can hurt others.

Love can lead you to run in confused circles.

Love can be something unexpected ... good or bad.

Love changes.

Love can mend a broken heart.

Love is what YOU mean to me.

In life and in love, it’s not always butterflies and sunshine rays
Sometimes we’re dealt with dark clouds and rainy days
But hand in hand, we can overcome the sad and the low
With all our heart, let’s search for our miracle rainbow

P.S. Please feel free to add to the list. There are lots of love to go around. :)

How ar?

Doctor's order : Can shower but not wet the hair till this coming Monday at the earliest. My hair is feeling really oily and sticky now. KENOT TAHAN oledi!!! Anyone has any remedy??? :(

3rd Time Unlucky

From the previous entry, I blogged bout how there was oozing of some brain fluid from my initial surgery wound. I called the doc and he said to see him the next day.

When I saw him, he took a look at the wound and immediately warded me in but this time into the govt sector of the hospital instead. This is solely for the reason that he can now clasify my case as as emergency and have the 'repair' surgery (that's what my surgeon termed it) done as soon as possible. Having it done in the private wing would have to wait. Odd.

Anyway, I was devastated when I knew I had to go through another surgery. Having to go through 2 operations in 3 weeks ain't funny. Well, so there I was sharing the room in the neuro science ward with five other patients. Visiting is limited here as you need a password to get into the ward. And te rest of the patients looked to be in much much worse condition than I was. The entire ward felt very sickly. Going further into the ward would lead you into the Intensive Care Unit. Don't look in if you've got a weak stomach. Patients in there are hooked up with so many equipments and tubes are dangling just about everywhere. Just looking at them made it so painful for me that goosebumps literally crawled on my skin.

Come evening time, my parents wanted to sneak me out from the hospital for dinner. So I got dressed and told the staff nurse that I'll just be in the cafeteria downstairs. Since she thought that I'd still be in the hospital building, she allowed. But we drove out to a nearby area ... Section 17, PJ to be exact. Halfway through dinner, a call from the hospital came on my mobile. They wanted me back in the ward cause the doctor will be coming to brief me on the surgery the next day. I had to come clean and told the nurse I was out. I got an earful from her but at least dinner was good. :)

When I got back 30 minutes later, the doc had already left and would only see me the next morning. Now there's this guy, an Indonesian occupying the bed beside me. He just wants ATTENTION. Every five minutes of so, he would call out for the nurse for something. ALL the nurses are so immensely fed up of him that they openly scold him in front of others. He would yell, wail, pretend crying ... you name it. If only I had an Uzi then, that'll make my day. Because he have a very strong Indonesian accent, most of the time, the nurses couldn't understand him and this would normally lead to an argument. And funny enough, he would call back for the same nurse later to apologize ... ARGHHHHHHH. I could seriuosly kill him and with pleasure too. He has a friend who is in the same ward (more critical). So a bunch of their mates would stay back 24 hours to take care mainly of that friend. And my 'neighbour' would always call for one of his mates to come over and help him with something, be it for a drink of water or a massage, etc. Oh and he's a bloody good pretender as well. He can move his limbs fine but when the nurses or doctor asked him to do it, he would wail in pain. During the night, I asked the nurse to draw the curtains between his bed and mine ... apparently that's a no-no for him too. He would cause a din till I relented and have the nurse undraw the curtains. Haih ... (deep breath).

Ok, enough bout this troublesome dude. Come round midnight, the M.O. came over and wanted to take some blood samples in preparation for the surgery the next day. Dr. Thani is a young looking Indian doctor, probably just fresh from graduation. The first thing she said was that she needed to draw my blood. The second thing she muttered was that she might have to poke me again if the first time wasn't successful. That got me worrying already but it's only fair that I gave her the benefit of a doubt. My mistake ... she took FOUR freakin' tries before she finaly managed to get the required blood samples. Seriously ... where's an Uzi when you need one.

Early next morning, I was wheeled into the operating theater. University Hospital have 16 of them and they're almost fully occupied most of the time. Once inside, after all the usual formality, they put me to sleep with some anasthesia. This time wasn't like the last surgery. This time, I was able to feel the effect. Firstly my vision became blurry but I wasn't prepared for what's next. My body began to feel intense pain all over. The muscles spasmed. I could only muttered the word 'pain' but no answer came. Soon after I couldn't breathe. I tried inhaling but nothing happened ... my lungs weren't functioning but I was still concious. Panic striked in but it was a couple of seconds more before I dozed off. Could this be a similar feeling to a person suffering from cramps and then drown??? It was truly terrifying.

Surgery was over before the two hours mark passed. They wheeled me back to the ward without informing my parents who were waiting outside. When my parents went to check with the attendant, he said I was still inside the theater. A staff nurse only informed my parents an hour later.

I was suprisingly feeling much better compared to the previous surgery. I had some energy and no nausea or headache's this time. No catiter and no IV drip. I slept through the afternoon and come dinner time, I had a full dinner of porridge and fruits. Couldn't sleep much cause my 'neighbour' was putting on another one of his shows.

The next night, I was awoken at bout 1 am and was told I would be transferred to another ward as more chronic patients needed my bed space. So I was given a bed in the oftalmology (eye) ward. This time around, I shared a room with another elderly pakcik who's suffering from an ulcer in his intestine. All was good except that this pakcik had problems with flushing after using the toilet. Haih ... can't complain la especially after what I experienced from the ward before this. And then I discovered that pakcik has an Uzi stuck up his backside and had no qualms firing at anytime or anywhere. His FARTS and long and sounded wet. YUCKKKKKKKSSS. Probably due to his intestine problem ??? Yes??? No??? He did apologize for it but ... sigh.

Anyway, we do get patients coming in from the outside ward to use the toilet in my ward. One elderly dude wuth an eye patch actually came to stand beside my bed late one night and I had to shoo him away gently. Gave me a fright I tell ya.

Nothing else in particular happened. By Friday afternoon, I was discharged and gladly made my way home. I'm really praying that this will be the last complication. The mention of being warded into the hospital again scares me till no end.

I've also learned to appreciate the little things around me more. The sheer ability to function normaly and to do the things you do daily should never be taken for granted. Know that the people around you are the real treasures in our lives. It's just sad that it took so much for me to realize it. Better late than never I hope. Hence, the video above ... cherish every li'll moment there is for you just might never know.

P.S. This time, I spent Chap Goh Meh in the hospital. :( Anyone threw or caught any oranges???

FUCKKK!!!

Venue : My home's living room

Date : 18 February 2008

Time : 9:23pm

I was watching some tele and suddenly the back of my head felt damp. I froze. I pray that this isn't happening but it did. The oozing started again. My surgery wound leaked some brain fluid although just a li'll bit but it's not a good sign. I'm really pissed off with everything right now. Just thinking about what the doc might do to me next send shivers down my spine. I'm really scared.

Back to the white room

On the 9th of Feb, the throbbing headache was excruciating. It woke me up from my sleep and I could tell that the sky was still dark outside. I glanced at my bedside clock and it was almost 7:00 in the morning. I couldn’t think of anything, didn’t know what to do. The pain simply numbed my brain’s ability to function. I’ve had headache spells and migraines before but nothing compared to this. I tried sitting up and took deep breaths … didn’t work. So there I was, tossing and turning until I could take it anymore. I went downstairs and took a 500mg paracetamol tablet and praying that the effect would kick in as soon as possible. Switched on the tele hoping that it would distract me from the pain slightly (they were showing Jackie Chan’s Rob B Hood). A couple of minutes later, I made my way upstairs and plopped myself onto my bed. Pain was still there. This continued for another 4 hours or so before I managed to drift to sleep and woke up during lunch hour.

Upon waking up, I felt much better. The headache was replaced with a li’ll bit of dizziness which I could bear. Had lunch and made my way with SY to her friend’s place. That was when the fever and headache returned. We cut short our trip and I went home to rest. Constant head massages and popping of paracetamols helped me last through the night. An appointment with my surgeon was made for the next day.

The next morning, we made our way to the hospital. Didn’t have much strength left in me due to the lack of sleep the night before. While waiting for the elevator, I practically dragged myself to sit on an empty row of chairs because I was feeling dizzy. Didn’t watched my head and slammed it on the wall behind. Fortunately I did not hit where the surgery wound was.

The doctor decided to ward me in to do some tests. Blood and urine samples were taken and it’s confirmed that I had a urinary track infection. Apparently it’s common especially amongst guys to have this because I had a catiter fitted after my surgery. Treatment is fairly standard … just a matter of feeding me with antibiotics twice a day through the drip. That’s not the worse part, it’s the severe headache and fever that’s causing all the discomfort.

The next day, doc said my stiches could be taken out. Took him no longer than 3 minutes to expertly get all of it out. The rest of the day went on as usual, slept a lot, ate quite a fair bit, put up with the headache and fever, etc. Went to sleep at about 11pm and woke up at approximately 2am to find the back of my body wet. Figured it was probably sweat and dozed off again. An hour later, I woke up again feeling really ‘sweaty’ and thought to myself this can’t be right. Switched on the lights and to my horror, with the stitches taken out, the surgery wound opened up slightly and the brain fluid were actually oozing out of my body. I immediately called for the nurse and they came and bandaged me. Changed the bed sheets, pillowcase, etc. They were gone for two minutes before more fluid flowed out. A new bandage was needed and this time, the oozing stopped. Later in the afternoon, oozing continued and the doc located a pin sized hole on the surgery wound. I was given local GA and he added 4 more stitches where the hole is. I’m really hoping this will stop the oozing indefinitely or else I’ll have to go through another surgery to reopen the surgery wound and re-stitch the entire thing. Another possible scenario is that if there's a brain fluid retention in the brain, they might have to insert a tube from the brain all the way to the abdomen to divert the excess brain fluid and at the same time decreasing the pressure in my head. :(

Anyway, over the next two days, I was down with fever. It only comes like clockwork after dinner and it usually brings along severe headache as well as pain on my right arm.

Luckily, the day after, the fever subsided and I was allowed by my doc to be discharged. Am currently resting at home. I hope this is all there is and that my recovery would continue smoothly.

P.S.

1.) I actually spent more days in the hospital this time compared to the time I had the surgery done.

2.) I spent Valentine's Day 2008 in my ward. :(

The Surgery

Been absent from the blogosphere for some time now. Too busy with with the CNY celebration really. :p Anyway, before I forget, to each and everyone of you out there ... would just like to wish you GONG HEI FATT CHOI!!! May the year 2008 shower you with abundance prosperity of health and wealth. It's never too late to forward well wishes no??? Hehe.

Just so you know, I'm recovering very nicely from my recent surgery. All's well and dandy. Started driving today too (to the absolute objection of my mom and grandma) ... albeit only a few km to USJ Taipan but I really do miss driving. Been pigging out non stop. People are stuffing me with scrumptious food all the time. I don't mind really but then when I prop myself onto the weighing scale ... I see the kilos piling on. Can't run away from reality. :( Don't be suprised the next photo you see of me might depict me being horrendously overweight. Haha. *touchwood*

Ok, so about my surgery, here's a brief recap. I checked into the University Malaya Specialist Center at approximately 10am on Jan 28th. I was shown to my ward and it's a single occupancy room. (See photos above) It cost RM200 a night (not inclusive of food) and an additional RM50 for nursing charges. Soon after, my neurosurgeon, Prof. Vickneswaran came in to take some of me blood sample and to explain exactly how he's gonna cut my head up. Basically, the upper part of my neck behind will be cut open (see first photo above). Then he'll have to slice through a big chuck of muscle to get to the skull. A grinder will be used to powderised a small part of my skull to reveal my brain. Some grey matter i.e. my brain's tonsil would have to be taken out to create a 'sump' to allow my spinal fluid to flow there if necessary. Some existing spinal fluids trapped in my spine will be squeezed out too (just like squeezing toothpaste). After all that, they'll stitch up everything and I'm on the road to recovery. Yay!!! No momento for me though ... skull would be in powder form and they need to dispose the brain tonsil in a proper manner at the hospital. Oh yea ... and apparently, my skull could actually grow back over time. May take a while tough.

At mid day, my anasthetist, Dr. Usha came in to check on me and to measure the right amount of anesthesia to be given to me to knock me out could during the op. She also revealed a li'll too much info ... telling me how I wouldn't be breathing on my own but instead with the help of some medical equipment and that they'll have to insert some sorta tube into my lungs etc. OUCH!!!

Oh and I have to fast from 10:30am till after the surgery. That means no eating or drinking whatsoever for about almost 8 hours. At 4:30 pm, I took a really clean shower and just before the clock struck 5pm, the attendants wheeled me into the operation theater. It's just like those you see in the tele ... big shiny lights with tonnes of other equipments. Dr. Usha pumped me with some fluid and before long, I dozed off.

3 hours and 55 minutes later, I was awaken and the surgery was deemed a success. They sent me to the High Dependency Unit ward and there, the suffering began. I was vomitting profusely. And with each cough, it sends a sharp pain to the surgery wound. I needed to pee desperately too and they keep telling me to just do it. (I didn't know I already had a pee bag fitted to me). I was also hooked onto a machine dispensing paikiller into my bloodstream (morphine) to help cope with the pain. Each time I press the button, 1mg of morphine would be pumped in. I think I pressed it a total of 4 times. Don't ask if I felt 'high' cause even if I did, the pain probably masked that estatic sensation. :p Throughout the night, it was pure hell. The pain, the nausea, the excruciating headache and added with severe dizzyness ... I really don' know ow I survived. Each time I dozed back to sleep and awaken again, it felt as if a couple of hours had passed but when I asked the nurse for the time, only a couple of minutes went by.

Early next morning, I was allowed back into my ward. All the ill feelings were still there but it felt better to be in the ward ... the morning sunrays helped I think. (The HDU is windowless). Mom tried to feed me with some water and some semi solid food. Eating was a real bother. I was lying flat on my back and swallowing wasn't easy to say the least. I just wanted to sleep and make the pain go away. I had some visitors, some relatives and friends but I was really groggy most of the time to even realize who came. The morphine machine was uninstalled and I relied on tablet painkillers instead.

The third day was slighty better. Two nurses came in early in the morning and gave me a sponge bath. At that time, you wouldn't even think about being shy ... you just wanna feel clean again ... trust me on this one. I was allowed to sit up at a 45 degree angle on the bed. That made eating and drinking a whole lot easier. My appetite improved slightly too. More visitors came but I couldn't remember most of them. I only woke up to eat and then it was back to slumber. The pee bag came off and initially, I had trouble peeing. Maybe it's a phsycological issue there but six hours after the bag came off, I finally succeeded in peeing. Hehe. Wanted to watch some tv but you'd had to pay a RM50 deposit to obtain the remote. They took out the two manual channel switching buttons on the tele. Sheesh.

The fourth day, I was feeling heaps better. I was allowed to shower. They sprayed a thin layer of plastic on the wound to waterproof it. An elderly nurse helped me with the hard work. I basically just sat there and she did the rest. It was good to shower again especially when your hair feels really oily and lumpy. Again ... you just couldn't be bothered with the syness issue. Suprised myself too in this aspect. People were caught suprised at how alert I was ... heck, even I wasn't expecting myself to feel the way I felt. Started taking in a li'll bit of solid food and I reckon that helped in regaining some strength in my body. Was allowed to walk a bit and I may walked just a bit too much. Heh heh. The doc came and see me and mentioned that if everything goes well, he might even discharge me the next day.

The next day, I was really hoping on getting home. The stopped me on the nausea medication and immediately, I felt like puking 24/7. The headache came as well and it was intense. Puking cause my body is reacting to the absence of the nausea medication and the headache could be due to me walking too much the previous day resulting in some spinal fluid flowing back into the spine. Yikes!!! So in the end, the doc decided to keep me in for one more day. I only walked when I needed to use the bathroom.

The sixth day, the doc came in early and finally gave the greelight for me to be discharged. My parents started packing up my stuff and by noon, I was on my way home. It's good to be home ... it really is. Oh and I'm appreciating Astro just a li'll bit more now. Ahaks.

Returning home ...

I'm home and it's good to be home. Expect regular entries soon. For now ... my body is demanding rest.