Turn left turn right

I think I've lost myself. Need to find myself ... trouble is ... where do I start looking? :(

Lost ...

It feels like a dead end
I've failed miserably as a man
The path in front seems dark and grey
Now I walk aimlessly like a lonely lost stray
The world sees me smile and laugh out loud
I veil my torments with an emotional shroud
I look into the mirror and see a ghost
Not true, its just me at my ugliest most
I hold you, I hug you, never let you go
You shove me, you stab me, hurting me so
Sitting on the broken pieces of my heart
I wonder if the faults were mine ... did I not do my part
I try to glue the ruined pieces together
I only hope you will not cause them again to shatter
Your life seems to have opened up
Everything from work, friends ... even love from a pup
I see you enjoy basking under bright shiny lights
While I stand behind the shadows, away from sight
You willingly share our worries and issues with others
Not caring that this is our private and personal matters
Should I do the same and wash the dirty linens
With family and friends, no difference men or women
You see glorious sunrise and hear happy chirpy birds
While I lay here covered in unwashable dirt
I imagine running away and leaving all behind
But I'm so lost ... the roads ahead bear no signs

-From Unknown Author-

Everything happens for a reason they say ...

Reflecting back at life for the past 1 year ... many things have changed ... some of em' unexpected. I'm thankful for the positive turn of events while I'm trying to cope with the not-so-good ones.

I've been told that everything happens for a reason ... It's hard to fully appreciate this statement when you're metaphorically trapped in the eye of a twister.

Here's hoping that time will reveal the truth behind all of the recent happenings and that I'll be showered with 'blessing'-in-disguises'.

As for the good things that I've been blessed with, I am trying to remind myself to be thankful and contended.

BUT ... I still want that F30 damnit!!! *droolzzz*