Not a good day ...

Just one of those days where nothing falls into place and you end up with a crazy urge to slam and bury your head into the wall.

Expectations ... I still can't handle them well. Being sucked helplessly into it and then being tormented by it. This emotional turmoil has blinded my eyes so I'm lost in the dark. It gagged my mouth so I couldn't call out for help. And it binded my hands and feet so I couldn't run away.

Let's hope I'll wake up to a better day ...

Biting the hand that feeds you ...

As a general rule of thumb, we were taught never to bite the hand that feeds you. Doing so would invoke unendearing terms casted upon oneself such as ungrateful, non appreciative yada yada yada ...

My question is what happens when the hand that feeds you is also the very same hand that drives the knife into your back?

It really is very exhausting to fight and fight and fight for the company only to see the company turning around to take what is rightfully belongs to you. It's akin to a soldier coming back from battle only to have salt poured into its wounds. I don't expect rewards of any kind apart from what was contractually agreed upon but coming in to rob me of my dues after all the effort I put in???!!! ... now that's hitting below the belt and this blogger would not tolerate it.

It's kinda pathetic when I think about it ... utilizing my resources to fight the company instead of fighting for it.

Many might disagree with my actions ... you may say I'm selfish or even silly but being where I am now ... I am all I have ... it's every man for himself in every sense of the word. So it's going to be an all out war. The guns are all ablazing ... now I just need to pull the trigger.

Betrayal!!!

Betrayal is defined as the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations.

Today, I was unfortunate enough to experience it first hand. Yes, there were initial suspicions. The signs were there. We were wary and so we notified the relevant parties. No actions were taken and we were left with nothing but hope ... stupidly hoping that the worst wouldn't occur.

Today, the inklings we had were proven to be true and we're now left to digest a very bitter pill. Thinking back, this foul play could have been avoided all together. If only certain quarters made the right decision and acted accordingly. I would relish in the satisfaction to say now 'Told ya!!!'. Sighhh ... no point crying over spilt milk I suppose. The bigger question is how do we proceed from here. The steps we take from here on end are most crucial.

The horizon is still unclear ... will it be bright yellow or pallid grey???

Idiot clowns I have to put up with ...

*ALERT* This entry is nothing more than some senseless ranting and the characters mentioned does not relate to anyone specifically ... dead or alive.

There are those we love to hate and then, there are those we hate to love. Either way, some of us have to put up with them regardless if we like it or not. Below are just a few examples of the clowns I have the unfortunate oppurtunity to be aquainted with.

Clown 1 : The Know-It-All

You say something ... anything at all and this clown will have something to say about it. Be it about the latest tech spat out by Mr.Jobs's fruity company to the 25 cents discount for apples in the fruit market. And even when they don't know shite bout the matter, they'll still pretend that they do with an added air of arrogance to boot.

Verdict : Ought to be shot ... twice!

Clown 2 : The Big-Mouth-Bragger

This one's a classic where this clown can't put money to where his mouth is cause talk is cheap ... dirt cheap. What he/she lacks in wisdom, diligence, experience, an average sized dick and all things good ... it'll attempt to overcome it with the shameless audacity to brag and elevate himself above all else. The thing is, this pathetic effort to paint itself in a better light ALWAYS backfire since the people around sees him/her for who he/she truly is. One cannot hide one's true colours forever dipshit! And guess what ... your colour is a murky blend of dull grey and yucky brown. *Eeewww*

Verdict : Ought to be quartered and fed to the dogs!

Clown 3 : The Stinky Mouth

Ooo ... this one has a sharp tongue and it's usually paired with a pungent breath ... so much so that every word uttered stinks to the high heavens. Nothing pleasant leaves this clowns lips as he/she takes pleasure in causing others embarassment or discomfort by shooting out only distasteful and offensive remarks. To see others blush and squirm desorily amounts to an achievement of sorts for this wretched being.

Verdict : Ought to be drowned in acid ... no other way to get rid of the putrid pungence.

Clown 4 : The Credit Robber

The worst of its kind, this one will brazenly rob anyone and everyone of their credit and claim it for his/her own. Sometimes it really goes beyond words like you wouldn't bloody believe. Experiencing it first hand is akin to being slapped in the face. More often that not, these are the people sitting in the higher ups of the hierachy and they commit this smiling so slyly it gives me the shivers. It's always the li'll people being screwed around. There's never a superhero when you need one.

Verdict : Shooting doesn't work. This clown's hide is sooooo thick, bullets just couldn't do the work. We need to grind, blend and mash this clown into paste before flushing it down the toilet.

Being associated with these clowns can be so demoralizing sometimes. Anybody know where I can purchase an uzi? Oh wait ... this is just some nonsensical ramblings ... why am I getting so riled up by it???!!! Sighhh ...

Tired hound dog

Every employee signs a contract with his / her company. You get paid an agreed sum of remuneration for executing the work scope stipulated in the aforementioned contract. As straightforward as this may seem ... I'm sure most would agree that more often than not, this isn't always the case.

It's perfectly fine to give and take. As long as there is a balance of sorts, I reckon it may even work to one's benefit. We accomplish, we experience, we learn, we gain ... you get the gist.

The question is what happens when that oh-so-critical balance is no longer within a tolerable equilibrium? What happens when it tilts towards a side where it compromises one's principles and ethics?

I have a front row seat here in my current project as I watch all the drama unfold. I bet ... with a good scriptwriter, I could possibly win accolades by bringing all these to the silver screen. It has all the elements needed for a most intruiging soap opera ... we're talking big time betrayal, corruption, anguish, hatred, pretention, sacrifice, frustration, lies, lies and more lies etc. And the best part ... the ending isn't written yet. The game is still being played as I type out this entry.

Truth to be told, I wouldn't mind being a mere spectator in this play of deceit but when I'm being sucked into it ... it's a different story all together. To get tangled up could be dangerous and at the moment ... very very tiring. I despise myself for putting up a mask in the presence of certain individuals. Sometimes this is not a choice ... it's a case of survival of the fittest and the weak ones get tossed to the sharks. This is further amplified with the fact that being in foreign land, we're here on our own ... no family, no friends, no one to watch our backs. It's every man for himself in every sense of the word. Trust is a comodity most valuable but give it away too easily and it may turn around to bite you ... hard! Your best friend may actually be a wolf in sheep's skin.

Of late, I see this 'mask' I so regularly put on starting to crack. I've possibly reached my limit and God knows what this blogger will do if pushed further to the edge. Like I said, the plot is getting stale and I'm as tired as a freakin' hound dog. I just want to be left alone to do the work I was asigned to. I crave for this now ...


Screw all the politics, away with all the unethical dealings ... let's just finish the work we're sent here to do, take a bow, let the curtains fall and everyone goes home happy.

Sighhh ... if only everyone else felt the same way ...

The things that go bump in the night ...

What would you expect to see in a construction site? Well, the usual includes heavy machineries like big-ass trucks, tractors, cement mixers etc. You also get loads of building materials namely concrete, sand, blockworks, wood planks etc. As far as the people goes ... you get the management clowns in their smartly pressed shirts and pleated pants, the supervisors in their jeans and sweat soaked t-shirts and of course the labourers in their bright overalls and hard hats.

What I didn't expect to see was a pair of shoes ... kiddie shoes to be exact ... the cute li'll ones meant for 2 year old girls I reckon. It was black and dotted with pink petalled flowers. I saw it when I was busying myself at the site today. As I approached it for a closer look, two of em' Indian labourers gestured frantically at me to not get any nearer. Although I couldn't make out what they were saying (I was pretty sure they were speaking in Tamil) ... I could tell they were trying to warn me to stay away.

Not one foolish enough to tamper with the unknown ... I backed away without another glance. It made me wonder ... just why was that pair of shoes placed there and just who or what was it intended for ... spooky stuff. *cue Twilight Zone's theme song*

Growing old isn't an option ... growing up is!

It was a Thursday afternoon and the blistering sun was scorching everything and everyone beneath it. The sweltering heat is causing not only the temperature to rise ... but tempers to flare too.

I've needed my colleague (let's call him Mr.T) to do his job and get the consultant to inspect the delivery of certain equipment and sign it off. Easy peasy. In fact, despite needing to give the consultant a 24 hour notice prior to the inspection ... I sweet talked that bugger to do it on the spot and he gracefully obliged. I gave Mr.T the go-ahead and was rather pleased that everything was going as planned.

Time passed ... tick tock tick tock ... and KABOOM!!!

I heard shouts coming from the outside. Voices were raised and spiteful words were spat out at each other. Let's just say the language used was most 'colourful'.

Next instant ... Mr.T stormed into my room and said 'I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!!! HE'S A BLOODY F*CKER!!!' and stormed out. Before I could react, the consultant appeared and shouted 'WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH HIM. THAT'S IT ... FROM NOW ON, I'M GONNA PLAY NASTY WITH YOU GUYS!' and slammed the door on his way out. I thought to myself *Gee, do I look like a freakin' punching bag to you fellas?!*

Sighhh ...

From where I was seated ... I could still hear my colleague complaining to every person in his path over what transpired. I walked out and together with another colleague ... we tried to persuade Mr.T to cool down but for Mr.T, that wasn't an option unless the consultant issued him a formal apology. So we eventually told him to head on home before he does more damage.

A neutral party who was present when the argument erupted told us that is all happened over a bad joke. The consultant called Mr.T a monkey in good humour but Mr.T couldn't swallow it. Despite being offered an apology, Mr.T blew his top which lead to the consultant firing back with all guns blazing.

In the end, my colleague and I had to spend some time as well as our ego to soothe the fuming consultant. Now the consultant wanted Mr.T to give him an apology or he's gonna make life difficult for everyone else. A pissed off consultant isn't going to help us get our work done but we eventually managed to calm him down and got the inspection completed.

So there you go ... all this was highly unnecessary ... and all over a joke that turned sour. In the end, it left us all with a bitter after taste. It just goes to show that growing old isn't an option but growing up is. *Sheesh*

Abraj Cooling's CNY Dinner @ Beijing Restaurant

Yesterday, my company invited its employees for a get-together in conjunction with the upcoming Chinese New Year. Dinner was held at Beijing Restaurant, Madinat Zayed and we occupied three tables. Since service was rather slow, everyone basically hoovered down their food the moment the dishes touched the table. We had soup and various other dishes that went well even with our local partners. Haha, them Arabs had Wong Lo Kat (herbal tea) for the first time and the loved it ... who would've thought eh???

After stuffing our bellies, most of my Chinese colleagues gave a short speech of sorts ... generally just to extend a few nice words and wishes to everyone. Even met some of my friends there ... Abu Dhabi is indeed a small place I guess.

Anyways, yours truly shall be heading home pretty soon, so see you back homeeeeeeee!!! :D

My first Friday night out in Abu Dhabi

Last night, the Deputy Project Manager, Mr. Sathis and I planned to dine at the Golden Crown. A place I’ve never been before, a place he told me served something deliciously different. Being a foodie, how could I have said no to that. At the hotel’s lobby, the duty manager, Mr. Bijoo was chatting with us and he recommended that we give Orchid, an authentic Thai restaurant (located along Salam Street) a go. He mentioned that the food was excellent there except that the spiciness in some of the dishes were beyond imagination. He only went there once … and never again.

Sathis and I, both boldly claimed that no spicy food was ‘too much’ for us and hence, we decided to take up the challenge and set foot towards Orchid. Half an hour later, huffing and puffing at Salam Street, we couldn’t locate the place. The landmark building provided by Bijoo was clearly insight but no Orchid was visible. After another 15 minutes of aimless searching, we gave up and trekked back dejectedly towards our hotel. On the way back, Sathis delightfully spotted Sri Krishna Sweets. Apparently, it’s a rather well known sweet shop originated from South India. Very elegantly presented, these ghee products are sure pleasing to the eyes as well as the pallet.

We then stopped by Golden Fork, a Filipino Chinese chain of restaurants and satisfied our bellies there. I noticed that the locals here eat late … I mean compared to what I’m used to back home. Back in Malaysia, usually by 8pm, I’ll be relishing desserts but here, even at 9:30pm, people are only beginning to seat themselves down at café’s and restaurants scattered all over the Arabian city of Abu Dhabi.

I had the Manchurian beef with egg ‘flied lice’ (as highly recommended by Jamie and SS) while Sathis opted for the fried tilapia. Before that, our appetizer came in the form of creamy seafood chowder. Not too sure bout Sathis’s fish, but all which I ordered were real delish. Perhaps I was famished or perhaps my tastebuds are appreciating the change from all the staple Indian meals I’ve been having since I arrived here. Nevertheless, it was a good night out for a change. :)

So how was your Friday night???

Gomenasai

Sorry for the recent lack of updates peeps but work is really bogging me down. Will resume posting soon k. Stay tuned and try not to miss me. :p

Clocking back in

Today, one the 1st day of April, I buttoned up my shirt, put on my slacks, slided in my socks and laced up my leather shoes. Today, after more than two months of practically doing nothing (nothing productive at least), I’m officially back in the rat race. To continue climbing the steep and slippery corporate ladder.

A part of me is really glad that I’m getting back into the groove. To settle back into normality. But boy do I miss the times when I can be carefree and simply laze the day away. To have breakfast at 10 a.m. at a nearby kopitiam, to have long lunches and coffee with friends in the afternoons, to watch late night movies till the wee hours of the mornig. Sighhh … I guess you can’t have the best of both worlds huh.

I'm a durian head

Didn't turn up for work today. The nagging pain on my right arm had developed into a permanent numbing sensation. Well, the doc's verdict was that I may have pulled a muscle and that it's affecting the bunch of nerves in that part of my body. He recommended that I stay away from the gym for at least 3 weeks. Siao ar. Those who knows me well enough would concur with me no? I was given three type of medication, namely painkillers, vitamins and muscle relief tablets (causes drowziness). Hopefully it'll help.

Used the rest of the day to run errands as well, payments for unpaid bills and got a haircut too. Now, my usual hairstylist was not around today, hence I settled for someone else since today's the best time to get all this petty issues settled. BIG MISTAKE!!! I told him to just follow the original cut, make it slighty shorter and thinner. Easy enough right? Apparently no or maybe new hairstylist no understando my england. End result ... my crop's now super short all around ... making me looking like the king of fruits. THE HORROR!!! Yes, I'm a bloody durian on feet. Thought of posting up a photo but finally decided against it ... it'll come back to haunt me one day I'm sure. If any of you see me in the near future and laugh ... I curse you roll down a staircase!!! HMMMPHHH.

Had two classes today, one in TF Taipan and the next one in My Fitness. A new comer in Taipan came up to me after class and told me she really enjoyed my class ... WOO HOO. She promised she'll be back this coming Thursday for my Deepavali class. :) My permanent slot in My Fitness began today and the class was PACKED . The gym recently upgraded their sound system and we were given permission to blast it. Blast it I did and it brought the house down. The energy level was simply UNBELIEVABLE. I think the members at the back could hardly hear me but interestingly, I discovered something new ... that is if I use my visual cues alone effectively with the right timing and pin point accuracy ... the effect generated is just as good as the vocal ones ... if not better. Will try it out in the other future classes and gauge the response. All in all, I had two great classes today, so I drove home exhausted but with a permanent grin plastered on my silly face.

Work update, my immediate boss requested that I return to the HQ to help him out with a major tender project. So I am to bid goodbye to Putrajaya for now and report in to HQ with immediate effect. You know what this means ... it means I can have my daily dosage of pork for lunch again. *YAYYYYYYY* So if any of you are working in the vicinity of Subang, I am available for lunch. Call me. Hahaha.

Just took the medication and I think it's beginning to kick in. Am feeling sleepy now despite the double Nescafe I had not too long ago. Perhaps *fingers crossed* I can have a good deep sleep tonight. Wish me luck k.

Pleasant dreams peeps.

The weekend is here ...

Today's routine was very much like yesterday's. Work started out fine. Was incharged of a certain testing job ... pressure test they called it. Everything went according to plan in terms of execution and timing. When I achieved the test results required, I notified the client to witness it before we can hand it over to them. As the client was on his way to the plant, boooooshhhhh!!! A part of the pipeline gave way. Water was spewed everywhere at super high pressure. I rushed to open as many valves as I could to decrease the pressure inside the pipe. It was total calamity!!! A couple of minutes later, the situation was under control. I was soaked from head to toe ... not a very good feeling I can tell you that. But the biggest dissapointment was that we had to conduct the entire test all over again. Before that, the pipeline needed to be fixed. The affected area needed to be cleaned. All these are time consuming and unfortunately, time isn't a luxury I can afford at the moment. So I gave out instructions on the next course of action to be taken and left the site. Nothing much I can do at that time ... sighhh ...

Did one of Eng Guan's super duper energetic Cardio Wave class. Fun level was superb but my thighs definitely didn't agree with this. After that, had a class (covering for Alex C). It was fun, in fact, mid way through the class, Alex came in to look see. Lemme ask him tomorrow what he thought of my method of conducting. :)

Showered and it was time to head back to the site. We re-did the entire pressure test and it was a success. Lady luck was on our side this time around and there were no glitches. *Yay* :D

Since I hadn't had my dinner, I invited one of my client rep to go makan. We ate and chatted quite a fair bit before heading home. It's now 3:28am, so I guess it's best that I drag myself to lalaland. Have an early breakfast appointment with a friend before hitting the gym. I think I'll only manage to join in the RPM class since I've volunteered to help out True Fitness in their charity drive for some orphanage. I guess it's about time I give something back to society. I rarely do ... dunno why. Lazy I guess.

Would you like to come along? If so, please make yourself available at True Fitness, Taipan at approximately 1:00pm. Hope to see you peeps there. Adios for now. *Yawnzzz*

He left the building

Yesterday, after having lunch, my managers and myself were in a car, heading back to the office when we happened to talk about a project I'm currently handling. I also mentioned that one of our correspondent engineer based in The Kingdom of Bahrain (where this project is taking place) seemed to be missing in action lately. He doesn't reply to our emails and more suprisingly, emails concerning the project hardly gets cc-ed to him anymore. My managers didn't know what to say to that, so they simply shrugged it off.

When I sat down at my workstation 10 minutes later, I received an email from the aforementioned correspondent engineer. That email was to notify us that he had already tendered in his resignation. This explains a lot about what has been going on. He's a good colleague and a fantastic friend. He was very generous towards my managers and myself during our trip to Bahrain two months ago. He shall be missed.

So to Mr. Rushdy, all the very best to you and in all your future endeavours. Maybe I will take you up on that bbq lunch offer at your New Zealand home one of these days. So get ready to fire up that ol' grill my friend.