Have you ever wished things were much simpler in life? Wondered how nice it would be if certain complications were to be erased? Can we take journeys where the path is straight and there are no crossroads. Don't put it to me that 'Oh, if it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger' or 'Life isn't a bed of roses' etc. because everyone have their limits and when it reaches that critical point, one gets fed up and ceases to give a damn. There are aspects of life that I'm feeling tired of. Is this where I make a change? The question is ... am I ready to embrace change? But the fear of not knowing what lies ahead is holding me back from commiting that step.
The movie 'Into The Wild' is based on a true story and tells the tale of a graduate who abandons everything known to him and went on to live in a forest. Well, he made his choice, he made a change in his life. He had the courage and opted to make his journey simpler ... to divert himself from the many 'shits' our surrounding and its people have dealt us with. Another case are the hermits living in Mount Wudang (saw it on the Discovery Channel). They just hole themselves somewhere up in that sacred mountain to meditate and live in utter minimalism. Perhaps that's one way to achieve enlightenment. Perhaps, when the mind is less clouded with the turmoils of everyday life, they are able to 'see' better and discover what's life's worth. From there, they might find a way leading to true satisfaction and happiness.
I know I do not posses the iron will or strenght to make such drastic alterations to my life ... at least not in this point of time. But I still ponder what I could do to make things a li'll more straightforward. It's also easier to change myself than trying to change the people around me. What about the things that aren't within my control but affects me directly? Should I abandon all and care just for my very own wellbeing? Is it justified to be this selfish in today's cynical world?
Or should I just continue to live the way I live now ... running away from reality if it's harsh. To turn away each time things turn ugly? Do I keep that fake smile and carry on living in denial that things will get better by itself? Or perhaps even subjecting myself to accept fate / destiny as it is? Convincing myself that people all around us are experiencing the same kind of shit, so what makes me so damn special???!!!
This entry might not make proper sense to any of you but I just needed to get it out of my system. I apologize if you've wasted your time reading it.
3 comments:
i get what you mean:) sometimes i wonder too myself. i think we just need to stay true to who we really are and at the same time, not hurt ppl around us:)
If life is predictable why would we need the LORD?? :D I feel it at times too, what u wrote..so fear not ..Fear is self imprisonment and courage is grace under pressure for Courage is fear that sets its prayer.
Turmoils in life are to deceive us from our purpose in life..Temptations also deviate us off track.. So what happen my dear fren..all okie??
Sometimes staying true to oneself means compromising others. These choices are sometimes the hardest to make. So like Ping said, maybe the only thing left to do is to take comfort and refuge in prayer.
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